An Indian woman has broken shackles that for centuries chained her in the closet of oblivion. She has scaled heights that were unimaginable for many just a few years back. She has dared to dream and has fearlessly barged in many male bastions to affirm her faith in the possibilities of improbabilities. When the world said, “ No! you can’t do it”, she just turned around and said, “why not?”. From Apala to Rani Laxmi Bai, from Fatima Beevi to Bachendri Pal, from Kiran Bedi to flight lieutenant Bhawana Kanth -women in different time frames have stealthily and continuously challenged every space unofficially/ officially reserved for the men in their communities. Every first attempt by a woman left a trail of toil, sweat, and blood for thousands of women to follow. Every state, every town, every village is galore with examples of many courageous women who fought valiantly for their piece of sky and land. As the African proverb proclaims: If we stand tall, it is because we stand on the backs of those who came before us. Today we are all reaping the benefits of what our great-great-grandmothers fought with and fought for. But in our bid to reclaim the grounds, we have not been able to facilitate much change in the contexts, settings, scenarios, and perceptions around us.
We are going out to work but hearth and home still belong to us. It is not that we do not want to own this bastion anymore. We are proud of what we do at home. What we are tired of is the sole proprietorship of this business. Managing house helps, negotiating grocery shops, handling children’s homework and laundry with a full-time job/ office work is too much of multitasking for any sane individual. Decidedly perception of others regarding working women’s responsibilities at home must change in a big way and this change needs to come from the people around us in our homes as well as in our offices.
At home, we need more active and equal contribution from other stakeholders namely our men and children. Men need to acknowledge that a woman cannot be exclusively the housekeeper and manager of the entire family. It is a mammoth task that like any other task requires help from close quarters in terms of time, energy, and efforts. We need to nurture our children in such a way that they see every chore as an important and indispensable task that is both personal and collective. Personal- so that they realize that it is their duty to get it done. Collective- so that they acknowledge that it is to be accomplished in coordination with other members of the family. With this change in rearing pattern, we will start a silent revolution that will be reaped by our coming generations for it will pave the way for men- as- homemakers along with the women- as- homemakers.
In offices, people belittle a woman if she wants short leave to attend to her ailing child at home. Her request to schedule the meetings during office hours is received with a smirk on the faces of her male counterparts. When people eulogize their mothers, then why the role of working women as mothers is brushed aside under the carpet by institutions/ organizations. Till men start sharing a load of household chores in every home in every nook and corner of this country, the bosses and colleagues of the opposite gender must try to understand the cardinal existence of household chores in every working women’s existence. When a working woman wants to leave for her children and her home, it’s not a negation of her obligation at her workplace rather it’s her call to attend to the more pressing realities of her home. By nurturing a happy home along with her duties at the workplace, she is serving the nation twice over. It’s time we start building the work culture to accommodate a woman’s role as a homemaker and start renegotiating the household responsibilities to accommodate a working woman’s responsibilities, deadlines, and commitments. This is going to be a far more daunting challenge than breaking the bastions because this time we need a little help from our men. I hope they are listening!
-Dr. Parul Sharma
Maharaja Agrasen Institute of Technology.